STYLE WISDOM
The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck–About Style
by Vard Mov
That’s right, you heard it here first folks–this certified Style Coach is telling you to care less about style and fashion. Sounds crazy right? Not so much.
If you read Mark Manson’s 2016 bestseller “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, then you’ll understand the concept of ‘care less about the unimportant things so that you have space and mental/emotional capacity to care about the important things’. Counterintuitive, I know, but advice much needed in today’s world, where we are so inundated with things we have to care about and it just never stops.
That horrible thing that happened on the news last night; the low performance rates of your last email newsletter campaign; that annoying coworker you have who belittles you whenever they can–we as well-adjusted modern humans are expected to care about A LOT. But, speaking for myself (and I know Manson would agree with me) I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to do it all.
In the past, I would prioritize my job over my closest relationships, thinking that if I just cared a little more, then all of my problems would dissipate. But with all that caring, I was left with very little to give to those I cared about–including myself. And look, I’m not saying to stop caring about your job, or keeping up appearances. What I am saying is to prioritize the things that are of importance, to set boundaries around your precious emotional capacity, and then give your leftover ‘f*cks’ (if you have them!) to whatever you can that demands your attention.
Make sense?
Okay, but now how does this relate to fashion? Allow me to explain:
If you read Mark Manson’s 2016 bestseller “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, then you’ll understand the concept of ‘care less about the unimportant things so that you have space and mental/emotional capacity to care about the important things’. Counterintuitive, I know, but advice much needed in today’s world, where we are so inundated with things we have to care about and it just never stops.
That horrible thing that happened on the news last night; the low performance rates of your last email newsletter campaign; that annoying coworker you have who belittles you whenever they can–we as well-adjusted modern humans are expected to care about A LOT. But, speaking for myself (and I know Manson would agree with me) I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to do it all.
In the past, I would prioritize my job over my closest relationships, thinking that if I just cared a little more, then all of my problems would dissipate. But with all that caring, I was left with very little to give to those I cared about–including myself. And look, I’m not saying to stop caring about your job, or keeping up appearances. What I am saying is to prioritize the things that are of importance, to set boundaries around your precious emotional capacity, and then give your leftover ‘f*cks’ (if you have them!) to whatever you can that demands your attention.
Make sense?
Okay, but now how does this relate to fashion? Allow me to explain:
"I’m not saying to stop caring about your job, or keeping up appearances. What I am saying is to prioritize the things that are of importance, to set boundaries around your precious emotional capacity, and then give your leftover ‘f*cks’ (if you have them!) to whatever you can that demands your attention."
Part of my philosophy from the very beginning has always been to set yourself up for success ahead of time by cultivating positive habits. Planning a look for a wedding the day-of is near-impossible, and extremely strenuous. There’s no way to get your body, hair, nails, personal grooming, etc. to a perfect place in one day, let alone style the perfect outfit.
Instead, care about the small, regular steps of going to the gym regularly, taking care of your hair, nails & personal hygiene in a way that works for you, and cultivate a sweet capsule wardrobe of high-quality clothes that all look amazing on you–and bring you inner joy to wear.
It’s not ‘don’t give a f*ck’–it’s give small, habitual f*cks so that you don’t have to give big stressful f*cks all at once.
And you know what not caring about what to wear on an everyday basis does? It leaves you space to care about your friends, family, and yourself. It gives you emotional bandwidth to try that new thing that will make you happy, or go to that exciting event you saw on social media. Now that you take baby steps towards a personal style everyday, it will start to feel like you don’t have to care about what to wear at all–that it’s just a part of you.
And isn’t that a true victory, in it of itself?
Instead, care about the small, regular steps of going to the gym regularly, taking care of your hair, nails & personal hygiene in a way that works for you, and cultivate a sweet capsule wardrobe of high-quality clothes that all look amazing on you–and bring you inner joy to wear.
It’s not ‘don’t give a f*ck’–it’s give small, habitual f*cks so that you don’t have to give big stressful f*cks all at once.
And you know what not caring about what to wear on an everyday basis does? It leaves you space to care about your friends, family, and yourself. It gives you emotional bandwidth to try that new thing that will make you happy, or go to that exciting event you saw on social media. Now that you take baby steps towards a personal style everyday, it will start to feel like you don’t have to care about what to wear at all–that it’s just a part of you.
And isn’t that a true victory, in it of itself?
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